Grief .... Expectations you can have for yourself

• your grief will take longer than most people think it should
• your grief will take more energy than you can imagine
• you grief will involve continual changes
• your grief will show itself in all spheres of your life and who you are.  It will affect your social relationships, your health, thoughts, feelings and spiritual beliefs
• Your grief depends upon how you perceive your loss
• you will grieve for many things (symbolic and tangible) not just the loss itself
• you will grieve for what you have lost already as well as for the future.  for the hopes, dreams and unfulfilled expectations you held for and with that person
• your grief will involve a wide variety of feelings and reactions, some expected, some not
• this loss will resurrect old losses, feelings and unfinished business from the past
• you may have some confusion about who you are, this is due to the intensity and unfamiliarity of the grieving experience and uncertainty about your new role in the world
• you may have a combination of anger and depression, irritability, frustration and intolerance
• you may feel guilt in some form
• you may have a poor sense of self worth
• you may experience spasms, waves or acute upsurges of grief that occur without warning
• you will have trouble thinking and making decision, poor memory and organization
• you may feel like you are going crazy
• you may be obsessed with the death or preoccupied with thoughts of the dead person
• you will search for meaning in your life and question your beliefs
• you may find yourself acting differently than before the loss
• society has unrealistic expectations of your mourning and may respond inappropriately
• you will have a NUMBER of physical reactions
• dates, events, seasons and reminders will all bring upsurges in grief
• certain experiences later in life may resurrect intense grief feelings for you.

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