"Scars"

 

We wake up every day and we cannot escape the pain of the day,

 

it's a certainty that we will feel the scars of relinquishment in some sort of way.

 

Had we known what path would lay ahead-- would we have changed our minds?,

 

I doubt it just the same-- was it not a safe and loving home that we set out to find?

 

We torture ourselves often about the decision to place-- whether it was wrong or right,

 

it's a battle to go through the emotions-- to face the day without a fight..

 

We often sit and ponder about the most unselfish gift we gave to another,

 

to be empty- handed as a mommy-- to be joyous-- yet so sad that we helped create a mother..

 

Sometimes we feel the single most unselfish act results in loneliness and a sense of despair,

 

waiting for the pain to end-- knowing full well the pain of loss-- and the reality that the scars will always be there.

 

Many emotions we face-- a long journey lay ahead-- for tomorrow and today,

 

I plead with you not to regret the decision of the life you placed- in finding a better way.

 

There are scars today and scars tomorrow-- the scars will always remain,

 

the road traveled does get easier-- and I ask God to ease your mind-- and fill you with peace- instead of pain..

 

Britney Michelle Neilson

September 2003