Adoption Disruption

Other Articles & Resources:  Adoption From Disruption-The Process

http://specialchildren.about.com/library/weekly/aa103000a.htm

http://www.kentuckyadoptionservices.org/mending_hearts-dissolution-disruption.html

Since the explosion of adoption of children from institutionalized care in Europe, a 'dark side' to adoption has been growing. As with many 'secrets' it is seldom talked about openly, and like any dark secret, can be devastating and horribly destructive to those families caught up in it's trauma.

It's called 'disruption' or 'rehoming'. This means legally ending an adoption, and giving hard fought for and often very expensively found parental rights, over to another family, or is some cases to the state of residence of the adopting family.

Through no fault of their own, many families are simply unprepared for the nature and severity of the problems these children can bring into their family.

Agencies may purposely withhold information or simply not be aware of the real needs of a child. When problems arise they may not provide support, information or education for the families involved.

Families can be unprepared to parent children with some of the more severe
problems that institutionalization can result in. Children may have Fetal Alcohol, reactive attachment disorder, oppositional defiant disorder, conduct disorder, bi-polar disorder, schizo-affective disorder and others not listed. Any or all of these issues can challenge families to the point of break up, separation or divorce, or harm feared or harm done to other children.

Families can be overwhelmed by the stress that the seriousness of these problems, disorders, behaviors, mental illness or delay, can bring.

When all else fails, a family may be forced into making a often devastating decision, to 're-home', a child they fought so hard to bring to their family.

Families may chose to legally dissolve or 'disrupt' the adoption and find their child a new home with a family that has the skills and experience to parent these challenging children. Families may chose to do this formally through a local child welfare office or adoption agency. Some families have faced legal charges of abandonment or criminal non support by those who are supposed to help and support them.  Oft times agencies deny such a problem exists and fail to support a family through this trying ordeal.

Other families turn to informal sources, the network of families all over this country who are prepared to parent these children. We hope that Nurture Adopt will become a resource for families making this devastating decision and a source of information, education and support, as well as a place of connecting to those who can parent these children effectively.

Occasionally, disruptions are due to a family ' mis-match' where a child's personality and individuality simply don't 'fit' for a particular family or parenting style. The family realizing this, makes a choice to find a new home for their child either working with professionals or through informal networks.

Those of us who've been in and around adoptions for many years realized a growing need for support for families considering making this difficult and heart breaking decision. Unfortunately, there are legal considerations and privacy issues that make public forums a potentially dangerous place to discuss such issues.

If you are a family struggling to make this decision, please contact a counselor, agency and an attorney to assist you in making this difficult decision.

Caution: Adopting from disruption is NOT a cheap way to adopt an internationally born child. Many, if not all, of these children have serious and potentially soul destroying problems. Parenting them is not for the inexperienced, and usually not for first time parents.